Of Friend, Family and Finality

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Posted by NewComVic on January 13, 2012 – 11:41 pm
Filed under Personal

Today sucked. No flowery words nor eloquent prose can make it sound any different…It just sucked. Today I looked down at my friend in a box…a box he will never climb out of. Brian Slater, a mere 34 years old, is gone. He has rid himself of his demons and left all of us. We have lost a friend, brother, son and a good person… but we have all gained a guardian angel. If there is one thing no one can ever deny about Brian…he cared… about us all.

I don’t know too many people with more charm, charisma and passion than Brian. I wasn’t by any means Brian’s longest friend… nor even his best friend. We fell out of contact over a year ago. But I recently sent him a text. I felt the need to reach out. From what I can gather, I sent the text the day he took his own life. I don’t know why I sent it. Something told me to…be it fate, karma, premonition, intuition, call it what you will. SOMETHING made me text him. I never received a reply.

Brian and I didn’t know each other very long. We were acquaintences for a bit. I was married. He had a longtime girlfriend. We hung out every now and again. A party here and there…Super Bowl at his house, etcetera. Then one day, everything changed. I was going through a divorce. Brian was coming out of a break up and a bad time….and he sent me a message. I still have it , “Vic, when are we gonna sip some single malts and talk like men!”

A simple sentence like that started an eight month run of seeing each other almost every day. We were no longer acquaintances. We became brothers. We spent days at Professor Java’s talking business and women, and nights going out failing miserably with women (me much more than him). We went to movies, ate dinners at each other’s houses, spent time with his parents Jamie and Barb (nothing makes a Sicilian feel more honored than a Irish family breaking bread with you).

We posted inside jokes, we thought were hilarious, on each other’s facebook walls and had a routine down that the Marx Brothers would have been proud of. We made sure we did something every night of the week. I am pretty sure I can never listen to “Sunday Morning” by Maroon 5 without thinking of him. Brian performed it at every karaoke place we could find for months … and he nailed it…every time. We saved each other from despair, laughed a LOT and just enjoyed life

Something happened after months of being together…the demons crept back in and I started to lose my friend. We lost touch. I hadn’t spoken to Brian for a while … until today. I spoke to his lifeless body. Struck by the finality of it all, we are all going to ask the questions, Why, How Come, What if, Could I, Maybe, If only? But in the end, this is the end and we will always be left without answers. The mind cries out for this to make sense, but it won’t. The heart wants to understand, but it can’t. My hope is that Brian is happy, free of his burdens, lifting a pint and singing his head off!

Good doesn’t always triumph over evil. I find evil tends to win unless good is very very careful. In the fight for a good mans soul, the demons won this time…and it fucking sucks! I will miss you my friend. When we meet again … let us sip single malts and talk like men!

Of Penises, Picts and Pathetic

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Posted by NewComVic on June 14, 2011 – 12:15 am
Filed under Political Rants

By now I am sure you have all heard about Congressman Weiner and his magical dick picts of shame. You would think by now it has all been said. The post headlines have been on par with “headless man found in topless bar”, the pundits are pontificating about dicks and the late night shows are eating this up like a starving man at an all you can eat buffet.

Now you ask yourself, why am I taking a run at this now? I am always amazed by the furor, double standard and sheer bullshit thrown around in these kinds of “scandals”. Congressman Weiner, a man who has truly lived up to his name, sent numerous picts of his penis to women via twitter and other mediums in a bizarre display of sheer stupidity by an elected official. What was his first comment “My twitter account was hacked”, and he “definitively knows he did not send that pict”. And then he issued the second equally amazing statement he “‘can’t say with certitude’ that lewd picture was not of him”.

I don’t even know where to begin. You don’t know what your own dick looks like? Was it wearing a dick disguise, did you never look down in the shower in your life? And seriously, your account was hacked? Honey, I have no idea how the porn got in my browser history…must be a virus or something. How many times has that excuse worked!

And I love the defenders, he didn’t do anything illegal. He didn’t do anything unethical, and his wife maybe partly to blame. Are you serious? Really REALLY? They couldn’t wait to beat the hell out of Republican Congressman Chris Lee who only sent one shirtless pict to a woman he met on Craig’s list. He resigned in shame, as he should have, and no one defended him! It wasn’t his dick to NUMEROUS women!

Did he do anything illegal…Nope… or unethical..well maybe. But was it incredibly stupid YES. Was his response so ridicules as to stupefy the average intelligent person, HELL YES. Is his wife a smoking hottie that makes you wonder what the hell this man was packing to get her…well now we know the answer to that …don’t we. Do you really think that a man should continue to be a congressman if he can’t figure out what his own dick looks like? Is it possible that the only jewish man ever to be hung like John Holmes can’t figure out it’s his dick in a pict? He seems to have taken enough picts of it, he should be able to draw it from memory by now!

It’s not the crime but the cover-up that gets you every time. You got to ask yourself, what the hell was he thinking. The little head was obviously doing the thinking. Do I actually care that he sent picts of his dick…not really. Do I care that a member of Congress, who knew how many picts he sent, couldn’t come up with a better story than “I can’t figure out if it’s my dick”…HELL YEA.

I expect my politicians to be the best bullshits artists available. When you can’t double talk me into cheering for you after a stupid “scandal” like this, when you can’t pull the animal house speech – as James Carville calls it – “the issue here is not whether we broke a few rules or took a few liberties with our female party guests, we did,” when you can’t even cry and beg forgiveness and claim some bullshit childhood trauma …I say…it’s time to go. But then again…what the hell do I know!

Of Bath Salts, Live Animals and Asses

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Posted by NewComVic on May 24, 2011 – 11:48 pm
Filed under Social Rants
Tagged as , , ,

So it would seem that snorting bath salts has become such a problem that state legislators are moving quickly to ban them. Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell started this? What crazy bastard decided to take a tub and while poring the bath salts in, said to themselves …hhhhmmm…I should snort this shit. And how do we get the second person in on this. Hey, I know they call it salt and we put it in the bath but dude you snort this shit and you are transported to the planet psychedelic and the rainbows are so full of color. COME ON…this sounded good????

What the hell have we come to? I can’t buy Sudafed in a drug store without giving them my license because someone figured out if you grind it up and strain diesel fuel through it with a coffee filter it is crystal meth. It will kill you too…but what the hell right! I mean think about it…it’s not so strange considering the other stuff people do to get high. Someone decided while walking along a stream somewhere to lick the ass end of a frog and wham-o it sent him into some psychedelic trip.

Can you imagine the conversation to get the second guy to do this? DUDE, seriously you lick the frogs ass and it’s like wild, you will see Aztec temples and shit….SOOOO RAD. And while we are on the subject…Who thought putting a live animal in your ass was an awesome idea. Really, what sick fuck was looking at their kid’s Habitrail and said, hey that resembles a colon! I got an tremendous idea…let’s get Fluffy to run around my bowels that would be AWESOME. And again, how the hell did you get the second guy to try it? BUDDY, you would not believe how wild this is. I took my kids gerbil Fluffy and greased that puppy up, then I inserted it into my ass and the fucker ran around in there and it drove me wild…you should really try this!

Now I know a chunk of this crap is apocryphal, and exaggerated. But there is truth in all fiction. And the fact that this is even possible is beyond ridicules. At what point does any of this seem like a good idea? At what point does the desire for gratification and escape get to be too much. I got to imagine when we are involving live animals and your ass that has to be the boiling point. But then again…what the hell do I know!

Here We Go

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Posted by NewComVic on March 6, 2011 – 5:31 pm
Filed under Intro

Here we go people. I have decided at my age and with a lifetime of wild experience, that I need a place to rant. And, as we all know, the internet was made for two things…porn and ranting…and I ain’t got the body for porn!

So you can expect many things on this blog, movie reviews, food critic stuff, rants about topics of the day, some fun stuff…and the obligatory bragging about my children. As the quote goes…Strap yourself in, its gonna be a hell of a bumpy ride. …But then again ..what the hell do I know!